The Family Leadership Manifesto
I’m a family leader.
I am a part of a community of moms and dads who believe that family leadership, is an ongoing conversation.
I won’t tell you how to parent, and I won’t judge you when you fail.
I use the words, “When you fail,” and not “If you fail,” because good family leaders know that failure is a natural part of the family leadership process.
The perfect family…
The perfect marriage…
And the perfect advice…
These are all myths.
As a family leader, I’m falling in love with the process of learning how to live, love, and lead well!
I am coming to term with past mistakes.
I am learning from them, and as a result I am building a brighter future.
A brighter future for my spouse…
A brighter future for my children…
And a brighter future for me!
The Family Leadership Community
One of the greatest parts of this family leadership process is that I’m not alone.
Countless adults have embarked on the journey of growing their family leadership, and you can too.
Our journey is an ongoing conversation–You might even all it a coffee shop conversation!
It is a journey filled with joy, laughter, honesty, mistakes, tears, and success.
Our family leadership motto is: No perfect people allowed.
The front of authoritative perfectionism prevents growth and halts conversation–Thus, letting go of insisting there is one right way for all families, is required.
The Family Leaderships Invitation and A Word of Warning
This manifesto is an invitation.
It’s an invitation to join the ranks of imperfect husbands and wives, moms and dads, brothers and sisters, and friends, who are learning to balance truth and grace in their everyday interactions.
Family leaders don’t always get things right.
We challenge each-other’s thinking.
We encourage each-other to grow.
When we fail, we return to the drawing-board, learn from our mistakes, and try again.
Warning, if you join us on this family leadership journey you will fail, and you will connect with people who let you down–but this is all part of the growing process.
A Call to Lead with Truth and Grace
Family leaders understand that family leadership is a skill and and an art.
On one hand, family leadership can be taught–There are certain basic principles that are relevant to all.
On the other hand, these principles must be applied with wisdom and tack. The way that you integrate the key principles of:
And the many other qualities that could be listed, into your family, might differ from how I integrate these qualities into my family.
Family cultures differ…
Family nuances differ…
And every family is made up of a unique combination, of one-of-a-kind individuals.
Because every family is unique, individualized family leadership is required.
Wise Family Leadership is an Ongoing Journey
One of the best definitions of family leadership I know is: Doing the next right thing, for the unique individual, and for their specific situation.
Will you join me in this ongoing family leadership conversation?
My Family Leadership Story
If you assumed that there is a story behind my family leadership manifesto, you are right. Ten years ago, I faced an series of family crises.
These crises were bigger than any challenges I had previously faced, and it felt as if my world had come crashing down. I met with a number of family leaders who provided straightforward, authoritative advice. Because these people were in a position of leadership, and because they spoke with confidence, I put their advice into action–With no questions asked.
This was a mistake.
Our family crises grew bigger, and I tried harder.
Insanity, is defined as doing the same things, over and over again, expecting different results. I lived this definition for over a year, and it was one of the most painful experiences of my life.
Then, I discovered the power of family leadership. In 2007, I returned to school. I pursued a degree in psychology at a local seminary–The same seminary I graduated with a Master’s of Divinity degree, a few years earlier.
That first night of class, as our dean provided an overview of the basic counseling tools and techniques that we would be learning over the course of the program. As he spoke, passage after passage of Scripture came to mind. The light-bulb in my head turned on–I was inspired!
I saw how key principles from Scripture (truth), could be combined with psychology (or conversation and grace). It was during this class, that I understood that family leadership is all about learning to balance truth and grace, though the means of ongoing conversation.
- Truth is real.
- Grace is needed.
- Balancing the two requires wisdom and tact that comes though ongoing conversation.
And this is what family leadership is all about! Will you join me in this ongoing conversation of learning to lead our families with truth and grace. If you are in, would you write, “I’m in,” in the comments below. I would also love to hear more about how you balance truth and grace in your family, and what some of your greatest family leadership needs are. I can’t wait to join you in this ongoing family leadership conversation!